


Will you always be with me?

by misshelena



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Kurt is always there for her, Love, mchart being adorable, will dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23506717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misshelena/pseuds/misshelena
Summary: Diane arrives at her apartment after the events of chapter 5x15 and 5x16. Kurt is there for her.
Relationships: Diane Lockhart/Kurt McVeigh
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	Will you always be with me?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to my beautiful readers!
> 
> I haven't published anything here for several months, I missed doing it. But this endless quarantine has made me go through old files and find this, so I decided to fix and publish it. It is not perfect, but I hope it distracts you a little from the horrible that is happening in the world.
> 
> I must especially thank my beloved best friend Celeste, who no matter what time it is, is always ready to correct my mistakes. I love you ♥
> 
> So, I hope you enjoy it, I'll be reading what you think.

The car's engine shut down, filling the interior of the car with deep silence. Although the street where her apartment was located was not too busy, that night it was in even greater silence. It was as if entire Chicago had plunged into enormous silence while respecting their duel. _Her duel._ She took a deep breath without letting go of the car's steering wheel, trying to keep the few remaining tears from falling. She closed her eyes trying to calm herself, but found herself quickly opening them again, the images that passed behind her eyes were too strong for her to relive them again, although she knew those images would be in her dreams and in her mind for a long time.  
  
  
She turned to the back seat to grab her purse and check her phone for the first time at who knows how many hours. Her phone dialed about 20 missed calls from different people, many voice messages and some text messages. In a brave act, she decided to start reading the pending text messages, but when she opened the first one, she didn't want to continue.  
  
  
_“Hi Diane. I just found out, I'm so sorry for your loss.”_  
  
  
The message continued, but she forcefully tossed the phone back into her bag without even seeing who had sent the message, let alone bothering to reply. Her hands gripped the wheel of her car again, and, unable to help it further, she let out a loud sob that was choked in her throat from the moment she saw Will on the gurney of that hospital.  
  
  
_Will was dead._  
  
  
_She would never see him again._  
  
  
_And there was nothing shecould do to avoid it._  
  
  
Feeling the tears streaming down her cheeks, soaking her tight purple dress that she had decided to wear that day to work, she leaned forward, resting her head on the steering wheel of her car, between her two hands, and she just stood there thinking.  
  
  
How would she overcome the horror she had seen that day in court? What would she do alone with the company? Would she have to change the name of the letterhead? Could she deal with all the partners demanding answers?  
  
  
But the most important question passed at that moment through her head and made a shiver run through her body:  
  
  
_What would she do without Will?_  
  
  
Completely determined not to think about it yet, she grabbed her bag, adjusted her coat, and got out of the car. The cold wind blowing at that moment made her shiver, she closed her coat even further and started walking quickly on her high heels towards her apartment. The tears that had been left on her cheeks quickly cooled and disappeared, leaving only Diane's red eyes as proof that they had been there.  
  
  
When she finally finished climbing the last step that separated the sidewalk from her apartment door, while absentmindedly reaching for her keys inside her bag, the apartment door opened without her noticing.  
  
  
Diane raised her head at the strange movement and her eyes widened at what she saw. There he was, holding the door with a shy smile under his mustache, waiting for her to fall from her thoughts and enter the heated interior of her apartment. She looked at him for a few seconds and looked back to the side of her car where his truck was parked. How had she done not to see it?  
  
  
"I was worried about you," Kurt muttered slowly, causing his recent wife to come out of her moment of shock, turn her gaze to him and drop her bag into the floor to hug him tightly, resting her head on his chest, dropping all of them again those tears that she thought she no longer had.  
  
  
He could only respond to her embrace, as he pushed her bag into the apartment with one foot and closed the door. Once inside the comfort of her apartment, he began to slowly rub her back, trying to make this a comfort to her. Kurt leaned his head on her head and breathed in her scent, while placing a sweet kiss on the crown of her head.  
  
  
_She was there, in his arms, nothing had happened to her._  
  
  
When Kurt was informed of the courtroom shooting, his heart stopped at the thought that Diane could be one of the victims. He was in his lab and quickly left his work to run to the truck and head towards the city. In the middle of the 40 miles away from Chicago, a friend of his who worked in the court warned him that there were only a couple of wounded and one dead, and that none of them included his beloved wife. Kurt relaxed noticeably, and was about to head home when another text message forced him to continue on his way to Chicago.  
  
  
_"The deceased is Will Gardner, your wife's partner."  
  
  
_Kurt didn't hesitate a second to call Diane, but it didn't seem strange that she didn't answer her cell phone. When he got tired of calling her personal phone, he started calling the office. After several attempts, Diane's secretary answered, explaining that her boss would not answer any calls from anyone. Kurt must have shown some kind of panic in his voice, since Diane's kind secretary added that her boss was locked in her office with the curtains closed but that she was physically fine speaking, he thanked her for the information and hung up the call.  
  
  
Upon arriving in Chicago, he decided to give her the space his wife needed at the time and go directly to her apartment to wait for her to return. If he knew Diane as he thought he knew her, she would not return to her apartment until she left the company as calm as possible under the circumstances.  
  
  
And that was what happened. Diane didn't show up at her apartment until after 9pm and Kurt stayed there all afternoon waiting for her. As dinner time approached, he ordered food to her favorite place for delivery and waited, although he knew that she would not arrive with too much appetite.  
  
  
They held each other at the entrance to the apartment for a long time, until Diane's sobs stopped and the tears gradually ended. She pulled away from him a little and looked into his eyes, not bothering him to see the mess she had become.  
  
  
"You want to eat? I ordered food to the place you like,” he asked, only to break the deep silence that had formed between them.  
  
  
She slowly shook her head. "I'm not hungry," she murmured softly, without breaking eye contact with him.  
  
  
Kurt frowned. "You must eat. You surely don't remember the last time you had something other than a cup of coffee.”  
  
  
Diane raised one of her eyebrows and showed the first small, though sincere, smile of the day. "I don't think it's a battle you're willing to lose," she said with a shrug.  
  
  
He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Of course not.  
  
  
  
\-----------------------------  
  
  
  
A few minutes later, they were sitting side by side in Diane's large armchair in her living room, both with a box of Chinese food in their hands. He finished his food portion, set the box on the coffee table, and took his beer bottle for a long drink. When he turned to look at her, Diane was focused on moving the vegetables inside the box from one side to the other, he didn't have to look inside the box to know that she hadn't eaten anything, but he couldn't blame her either.  
  
  
Kurt watched her for a few more seconds before putting a hand on her hand that was holding the chopsticks, causing her to look at him confused, he removed the box from her hands, left it on the coffee table and grabbed the glass of wine from it to give it to her.  
  
  
She accepted the glass and took a long drink. "Sorry... I swear I try to eat but I can't..." she murmured, trying to sit closer to him.  
  
  
He nodded, ran a hand behind her to bring her closer to him, and placed a sweet kiss on her head. "It’s fine, Di."  
  
  
Diane set the nearly empty glass down on the coffee table again and snuggled closer to Kurt, resting her head on his chest. She had her legs together and bent on the couch, one arm resting under her head and the other resting on his chest, rising and falling with each breath he took. "I'm sorry I ignored your calls too..." she murmured. "I just didn't know what to do... There is no instruction manual that explains how to act right now."  
  
  
Kurt lifted her chin for her to look at him. "You have nothing to apologize for, as soon as I heard the news, I knew I would have to wait for you to contact me."  
  
  
She nodded slowly and raised her head slightly to place a small kiss on his lips. "I should have called you anyway, I'm sorry, Kurt."  
  
  
He denied with his head. "Don't worry about it," he murmured, dropping the topic there to form another silence between them.  
  
  
Long minutes passed before Kurt turned to look at his wife, he thought she was completely asleep, but when he brushed a lock of hair from Diane's face he discovered that she was crying silently, without making any noise or altering her own breathing. His heart broke at the image of his wife so broken, he had never seen her like this, not even when Peter Florrick had taken away her future position as federal judge.  
  
  
That day Diane had entered the apartment completely furious, she had thrown her bag on the floor with force and had thrown both shoes away in the hallway of the entrance. He was cooking when he heard the loud noise of the front door closing, then followed by the sound of Diane's shoes against the wooden floor, and left the kitchen at the exact moment when she started crying loudly, raising both hands to her face, not bothering to suppress a sob.  
  
  
He had been for her at the time, and clearly would be for her at this time as well, although now it was completely different.  
  
  
Diane could be a judge someday, in a few months or in many years, it was just a job, which although it marked the achievement of her whole life, it was still something material. She had lost her best friend now, and he was something she could never get back, no matter how hard she tried.  
  
  
Kurt braced himself even more to Diane's fragile body and began to caress her back again, up and down slowly.  
  
  
"I..." she murmured trying to clear her tears a little with the hand that was on his chest. "I feel like a part of me was taken away from me, you know?" she murmured in her barely audible voice.  
  
  
Kur nodded slowly, not stopping his caresses. "Sure, honey... He was your best friend, it's normal for you to feel that way."  
  
  
"Will was so much more than that," she murmured again, and lifted her head slightly to lock her gaze on Kurt's gaze. "He was my brother, my partner... I have shared so many moments with him, and we have fought so much... God, I would give so much for not having wasted that time!" she exclaimed and a small smile formed on her lips between her tears. "He was very stubborn..."  
  
  
He also smiled a bit and nodded slowly. Kurt didn't know Will very well, he even believed that at first he didn't like that Diane was going out with him at all, but there were little things he knew about this man, and it was visible to everyone how stubborn he used to be.  
  
  
"When we got married, he was so angry that I didn't tell him," she murmured, not leaving her faint smile aside. "We had fantasized many times about getting married, you know?"  
  
  
"Were you going to marry him?" Kurt asked while still smiling.  
  
  
Diane shrugged her shoulders. "We both agreed that marriage was a strange institution that we didn't want to be a part of," she explained without raising her voice, laughing a little, but still crying, noticing Kurt's frown. "One of them changed its mind at the end..." she smiled when Kurt smiled too and placed another sweet kiss on her head.  
  
  
"I hope you don't regret that," he murmured.  
  
  
She shook her head. "Never," she murmured, standing up a little to place a chaste kiss on her husband's lips. When Diane returned to her comfortable position on him, she continued speaking. "He used to say we could both be a great marriage, he said we had everything except sex," she couldn't help but laugh as she remembered that.  
  
  
Kurt laughed too and shook his head from side to side. "If I didn't know who you're talking about, I'd be really jealous."  
  
  
They both dropped the topic there, she stopped looking at Kurt to look at some unimportant place, and he kept his gaze on her, although now he only looked at his beautiful blonde hair. He continued stroking her arm as he thought about the chances that the fatal victim had been her and not Will. _What would he do without_ _her?_ Kurt couldn't even imagine a life without Diane, and this made him cling onto her fragile body even more.  
  
  
Instead, she tried to keep her eyes closed for a moment, her head had already started to hurt and her eyes were beginning to make her notice the tiredness that her whole body felt. She just wanted to sleep and forget for a moment the horrible day that had passed. But the tranquility lasted only a few seconds, because when Diane saw Will's lifeless body on the gurney of that horrible hospital, the blood in the hall of the courtroom, his feet with one shoe less... Everything turned so real again that she forced herself to open her eyes again and this time she couldn't stop her breathing from getting heavier.  
  
"Diane?" Kurt muttered, revealing the clear panic in his voice. "Honey, you should calm down..." He had started to freak out when he felt Diane's breathing grow heavier and heavier. She was having a panic attack.  
  
  
Far from calming down, she moved her body to hug Kurt fully and felt a little better when he held her tight, trying to comfort her as much as possible.  
  
  
"I can't, Kurt," she murmured in her completely broken voice. "It's Will, do you understand? He is my best friend and… I… I will never see him again…” she stuttered as she let out another sob, which could be interpreted as a gasp, and cried even more. "I can't imagine a life without Will... What am I going to do without him, Kurt?" she asked without even looking into his eyes, her head was buried in his shoulder.  
  
  
Kurt was not a good person with words, and at the time he hated himself for not being one, he wanted so much to be able to tell his wife something that would reassure her even a little. But he knew that anything he said would calm Diane down at the moment.  
  
  
"You are strong, Di... And you can handle this, I promise you," he murmured, clinging even more to Diane's body.  
  
  
She cried a few more minutes until finally she managed to calm down a bit to lift her head from Kurt's shoulder and look him in the eye. "You promise? How do you know it will be like this?”  
  
  
"I don't really know..." he murmured, shrugging slightly. "But I do know that while we are together I will be by your side to help you get through this, because I will never leave you alone, Diane."  
  
  
She looked at him a moment before slowly nodding. She knew Will's death would always be an open wound within her, but knowing that she would have the love of her life by her side, supporting her whenever she felt so miserable to continue and pushing her to get ahead, made her feel a little safer.  
  
  
"I love you, Kurt," she murmured after several minutes of silence.  
  
  
"I love you too, Di... And a lot."  
  
  
Diane rested her head on Kurt's shoulder again. "Will you always be with me?" she asked shyly.  
  
  
"Always, Diane."  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, and don't forget to wash your hands!


End file.
